Welcome to Depressionville.
I see you found your way here once again!
Have you any guesses
as to how much time you'll spend?
Please just sign the register
and we'll let the critics know you're here.
Remember, you should mumble words
and keep communications quite unclear.

I see you have some baggage;
actually, you've brought quite a lot!
But, of course, this is the place for it;
this is the perfect spot.
Oh! Guilt and fear are with you;
yes, of course, that's quite all right.
We wouldn't want you sleeping well;
that really ruins OUR nights.

There are things to eat at the sideboard;
just words and junk and pain.
All the things that you can't swallow now
will, of course, be served again.

Yes! Welcome to Depressionville!
We're all so glad you've come.
Let us know what we might do
to keep you feeling numb.
May your stay be long and bitter;
may your problems keep piling on.
May your tortured soul keep bleeding
until all your love is gone.